I’ll delete this later, but…damn I needed to write some thoughts down.
I don’t know what to do, what to say, and if I should even be thinking about all this. Thoughts about being pushed away only to give me curt answers after I accidentally initiate any sort of conversation…I don’t know. I haven’t thought about this from being occupied with other things, but maybe it’s time to just cut that part out of my life completely. Really, what’s the point in simply telling me one thing when your actions say otherwise? I don’t stick around, and I shouldn’t even be talking to anyone who treats me this way. Ugh, I guess I’m just annoyed that…I’m someone who wants simple things anyone would, but have to give up more and get nothing in return. Can’t even talk to said person about it since…well, they always have something going on, and they see it as “there’s always something new.” Talking to him is like talking to a wall who only gives way when he feels weak. I’m not some pick me up. I’m just looking back on everything and man…is this what trying is? Expecting me to be honest with you when you give me nothing unless you feel up to it.
Still won’t forget what happened until you talk to me. If that one awkward conversation never happens, then I’m seriously erasing him forever. Tough, but I’m not some plaything or second choice. Funny, cause we could’ve had something really nice. I’m actually…too nice for this. I don’t play mind games, and I care about people for too long when they don’t deserve it.
She was right. Typical you.